new memories
by blindmemories
Summary: With fluctuating feelings for one another, will Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye uncover their real feelings for each other? Is it old memories that will bring them together?


new memories  
a royai fanfiction

Black Hayate rested his head against the leg of his master, whimpering softly in dismay. The expression on his trusty owner's face was upsetting and he let out a low growl to show his uncertainty. Riza was holding a long wooden object that looked to Hayate like a big stick. He waited patiently for his master to throw it and he would run after it and bring it back. Wasn't that what sticks meant? He felt a wave of confusion roll over him as he watched the large stick being placed up high on a shelf, out of his reach. Black Hayate lowered himself onto his belly, feeling utterly defeated and unsure. He raised his head to look out the window where the sky was dark grey with patches of dark blue, like the uniform his owner wore. The sound of a car engine outside seemed to pull Riza back to the present as if she were dangling on a bungee-cord, finally coming back up to safety. Soon after, the doorbell rang. Riza Hawkeye tilted her head; it was her turn to be confused. She felt cold still, her brain working like a knife, trying to slice through the unpleasant memories that often haunted her. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her head, to no avail. The doorbell rang again and she quickly went to open the door, Black Hayate trotting behind her, he enjoyed visitors, they always patted or rubbed his belly.

"Colonel Mustang," Hawkeye stammered, in more of a question than a statement.  
"Do you lose your cool when not at work, Lieutenant?" The colonel questioned with a smirk.  
"No sir, your appearance at my home is uncanny. I was only surprised," his subordinate replied softly, "would you like to come in?"  
Mustang gave a slow nod and entered Riza's apartment, carefully removing his military jacket.

"What brings you here, Colonel?" Lieutenant Hawkeye asked once he was seated on the couch in her living room.  
"I had to get away from my own home, I can't be around alcohol at this time of night, I'll just get drunk. I had to go somewhere else, just for a while. You're apartment seemed the only one that wouldn't contain any alcohol," Roy Mustang murmured with his head resting in his hands.  
Riza looked at him, he looked tired and indeed he must have been trying to avoid drinking because the battle was pasted plainly on his face.  
"I see, sir," she finally said.  
"Riza, please drop the military act. It's just me. You could at least try to call me by my first name," her superior muttered, glancing up at her.  
"Of course sir- Roy," she attempted with a loud sigh.  
He trained his eyes on her, trying his best to see what was upsetting her.  
Riza caught his glance and sat down beside him but she looked ahead, "I found my old sniper rifle."

Roy Mustang took a sharp intake of breath, visions of Ishbal exploded inside his mind with a fiery flame that consumed him completely. He saw himself, standing over entire towns and with a snap of his ignition gloves, hundreds died. The image faded slowly, never failing to leave him breathing heavily and guilt filled.  
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought that up. If you want you can stay the night, I can get some blankets and you could sleep here on the couch," Riza said hurriedly, almost reaching out to her colonel with her hand but brought it back to her lap, thinking better of it.  
Roy looked at her once his heart had settled, "yes, thank you."  
With a quick nod she left him to settle down. She pulled a few blankets from a closet and went to her own bedroom to change.

Riza re-entered the living room wearing a black tank top and silky dark blue pajama bottoms, in her arms were the blankets for Roy. He was deep in thought, wearing a dark grey undershirt and his black boxers. Riza noted his outer clothing was strewn across her couch and she groaned inwardly.  
"Here you go," she said, laying the blankets down next to her superior and turning to leave.  
"Wait," Roy said suddenly, taking hold of Riza's wrist, she half-turned to look at him.  
"Did it hurt?" He asked quietly, looking at her back.  
Where the tank top didn't reach, the edge of her tattoo was visible beneath her long golden hair that was usually up in a tight clip.  
"We went through this, Roy. I'm the one who wanted it burned out of existence," Riza replied evasively, sitting down next to him.  
"But you know I hurt you."

She watched him, Colonel Mustang, cry. What had put him off? Was he really that upset about her back or was he just tired. Riza clicked off the light and put her arms around him nervously. Black Hayate whined softly in his sleep from the carpet below. Roy rested his arms lightly around her waist, surprising Riza. She didn't push him away though, feeling his soft cries rack through his body, shaking the both of them like a small storm.  
"I hate crying, I'm sorry," Mustang said apologetically, pulling away and wiping his tears with a small laugh, feeling odd that he'd cried before his lieutenant.  
"I don't mind. It makes you seem more human. Maybe you aren't a hopeless heap of orders who was never granted emotions," Riza smiled in the dark, knowing that talking like this could get her fired at work.  
Roy pouted slightly but didn't argue. He put his arms around her again, letting his fingers brush gently across her back, knowing exactly where the burns were. He remembered that day when she had ordered him to burn the tattoo. She had ordered him to burn her own skin, just so she wouldn't make the mistake of creating another Flame Alchemist. He remembered the tears in her eyes when she saw what destruction Alchemy had caused during the war and swore that she would never let anyone again learn the secrets of Flame Alchemy, she had found it only right if she burned the secrets from her back.

Roy looked at her softly, her amber eyes were downcast. He frowned a little and pushed a piece of her silky golden hair behind her ear, causing her to look up at him.  
"I think if I had stayed blind...your face would be one of the things I'd miss most," Roy said, brushing his hand along Riza's reddened cheek.  
"Would you have stayed in the military?" Hawkeye asked cautiously, bringing her own hand up to rest on his, pressing it against her skin.  
"Of course, would you have stayed with me?" Roy mused, knowing the answer full well.  
Riza rolled her beautiful eyes, "until the very end."  
The two forgot about the military for a while, simply wondering about each other. Riza sometimes wondered why she stuck so closely to her Colonel's side. Was it because she wanted him to succeed in his dream? Or did she love him? The thoughts rumbled in and out like distant thunder, engulfing them in stormy clouds of black and grey. Riza took a deep breath and then spoke.

"I think...Colonel Mustang...-" she started.  
Roy looked at her, afraid that she might reject him and send him home. He moved back in case she felt uncomfortable, putting his hands in his lap. His face was masked but inside, worry was building up like a large rock wall, cutting him off from his surroundings.  
These movements made Riza become unsure but she forced her sentence out as if holding it back any longer might poison her.  
"I think I love you."

Roy Mustang stared at her, relief crushing down his wall of uncertainty like a gush of water. He took Riza in his arms and held her.  
"I love you too, my faithful Lieutenant," he whispered against her hair, tilting her chin up so he could stare into the shining eyes of Riza Hawkeye. Riza rested her hands against the Colonel's chest, slowly letting her hands drop to where his wounds were on the side if his abdomen.  
"If only I could have prevented this," she said longingly, memories of the 3rd Laboratory's warehouse gathered in her mind, the night she almost died because of a broken heart.  
"No. Don't blame yourself for that. It was so long ago anyways, but you never did explain why you gave up living that day, why _did_ you?" Roy said steadily, resting his forehead against Riza's and letting his arms loosen around her middle.  
"She said she killed you," Hawkeye choked, fighting against the urge to cry into her superior's shoulder, "I couldn't live if you weren't going to. I had only one goal in the military and that was to make sure your dream came true. But if you weren't going to be around to succeed in your dream..."

Riza rarely cried so when little sobs escaped her, Roy was slightly unnerved. Seeing her cry was terrible, like watching something sturdy tumble down. She never cried; she was always so formal and stern. He let her cry against his chest, realizing just how much his lieutenant cared for him, enough to die because he was no longer there.  
"We've both cried tonight, haven't we, blaming ourselves for things that weren't our fault. Maybe we should try to just forget about our work and our pasts, at least for tonight," Roy suggested, wiping the tears gently from Riza's face.  
She nodded, smiling sadly. Roy took her face between his hands and kissed her, his mind filled with new memories, current memories. Moments like these were what he wanted to remember, moments with Riza. When they pulled away, everything slowed down. Every second was recorded and written in their minds to never be forgotten. They smiled and lay down on the couch together, fitting perfectly. Riza curled up against Roy, wondering how, after all of this, she could go back to work tomorrow, calling him Colonel Mustang.

Fin.


End file.
